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Recently, a number of my conversations have revolved around the relationship between empathy and accountability, and specifically how to experience it as compatibility rather than tension.
Telling folks what they don’t necessarily want to hear is a tremendous act of empathy, when done with care. Being willing to join another person in discomfort and examine it together is one of the most accountable things we can do in our relationships, professional and personal.
Customer Success folks are some of the best in the biz when it comes to keeping people comfortable. Many of us found our way to this field because we’re skilled at creating safety and trust, and that draws the opportunity for candor. Our customers, our direct reports and our peers are inclined to be real and seek it in return.
I’ve had the privilege of helping CS leaders break the habit of tying themselves in knots in anticipation of a hard conversation they need to have with a customer or a direct report. The instinct to soften things and avoid making someone feel bad is very human and comes from a good-hearted place. In practice, however, it hands the other person a partial picture and leaves them filling in the gaps with whatever their imagination conjures, which is nearly always worse than the actual situation.
Leaders who are the most skilled at placing themselves on the receiving end of the conversation communicate clearly and early. With a little vulnerability and care, you can share information in a way that alleviates uncertainty instead of feeding it.
Before your next hard conversation, consider whose experience you’re actually thinking about. Rather than asking yourself how you can deliver your message without upsetting the person you’re teaming with, ask yourself what that person needs from you to feel confident about what comes next.
Book a free consultation to talk more about how to give and get the most in challenging discussions!
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